bits of life // april

1// Hey, I got published! Slo Life Magazine contacted me a few months ago, asking if they could do a little write up about my wallflower photo in their April/May issue (which you can see full-size at the link) that was taken at the Madonna Inn. Of course I said yes, and it came out lovely! I wish I could link you to the online version of the article, but there doesn't appear to be one. So this quick Instagram shot will have to do. Oh, and this is one of the many photos I took during my little jaunt to Yosemite/Big Sur/San Luis Obispo with two other photographers, which you can read about here.

2// If there's two things I hoard, it's camera stuff, and home decor/design books. Especially when it's a book published by a blogger I love, or a book recommended by a blogger I love. I've been following Justina Blakeney's blog for at least three years, and its always been the best eclectic boho eye candy for me. She's inspired me to be more adventurous with using more pattern and color in my home, and I can't wait to look through every single page of her new book.

I read about the new book Design Mom via Emily Henderson (another great blogger), and thought to myself, "Welp, I'm about to have two little hellions running around my house; this might be a good book to have." Especially since I don't want to necessarily sacrifice everything home decor-wise once I have children. (I say that now, but easier said than done, right?)

3// Look, I'm outside! Not nauseated and miserable on my couch! It's a first trimester miracle! Some girlfriends and I had a pool day last weekend, and it was one of those rare days when I felt 100% not pregnant at all. No morning queasiness, no heartburn, no bloat. It was bliss, and it felt good to put on a bikini, showcase my tiny baby bump, and just spend some time in the water with some rad ladies. My morning sickness has definitely waned over these past few weeks, which I'm so so grateful for. The nausea still hits me at least once a day, but I'm getting more energy back, and showing my face in public again. It's grand.

4// Might as well show the 'ole bump. I'm officially 12 weeks today, so I'm nearly done with my first trimester! I had my first OB appointment since transferring from my infertility doctor two days ago, and it went really great. It was a 45 minute long appointment, and my new doctor was super thorough with verifying my family medical history, giving me a full physical exam, and answering my questions. Then she did a quick ultrasound scan of the twins at the end, which showed Twin B moving around and Twin A taking a nap, apparently. They're growing great, and everything looks good. 

I still can't believe sometimes they're really in there, just growing and moving around and basically renting out my uterus for nine months. So these ultrasound scans are really special to me, because I can see them in real time, bunked up next to each other, and I think, "Those are mine. I'm really having them."

:)

9 weeks, and can I skip ahead to the 2nd trimester please?

First things first. I apologize in advance for this and all future pregnancy-related posts to any readers who couldn't care less about the whole growing-humans-in-utero business, but it's gonna happen. And this is such a big part of my life right now, that I feel that I need to have a record of what's happening for posterity's sake, right? Right.

I am 9 weeks along, and for the first 6 weeks, I was in newly-pregnant heaven. I was feeling pretty good save for some hardcore fatigue throughout the day; I had two ultrasound appointments where I not only got to see my tiny humans on the screen, but I got to hear their heartbeats as well; and I was already making small changes to my diet in an effort to eat healthier.

And then week 7 got here, and hellooo, Nausea Town! And it is the worst. Imagine the worst hangover you've ever had, but it doesn't go away for days, weeks. Add a side of heartburn and a dollop of that fatigue I mentioned earlier, and that's been the past two weeks for me. Today is actually the first day since it started that I feel like a semi-functional human being for more than an hour. I'll even take a shower tonight, because I'm a gross pregnant woman who hasn't showered in like three days due to said nausea and lack of energy.

Belly bump-wise, there's not too much going on yet. I can see a small difference between my first photo at 6 weeks and today's photo, but if you didn't know I was pregnant, you'd just think it was bloat. Or lots of tacos.

Apologies for the side-boob. Apparently I didn't feel like putting on a bra, or a shirt that day.

It still hasn't really registered that this part of my body will change so drastically over the next 7 months. I can feel the inside changes all the time (cramps/twinges in my uterus, increased heart rate), but I'm excited to see the outward changes too. Bring on the basketball belly and ginormous boobs!

I'M MAKING TINY HUMANS!!

You guys, it happened. Finally. After over five years of trying to conceive, I'm officially knocked up thanks to my husband, and some good 'ole science! After many failed rounds of medicated cycles that included Clomid, injectable hormone shots, and IUI's (and this was after years of trying naturally on our own), we knew that IVF (in vitro fertilization) was going to be our last and best shot. AND IT WORKED!

And according to this ultrasound, we are having twins! (which we were totally prepared for since we transferred two embryos) I'll be eight weeks along tomorrow, and it feels more and more real every day. Especially with my last two ultrasound scans, when I got to hear the heartbeats. It was surreal.

I never really used this blog space to write about my infertility struggles, but in retrospect, I wish I would have. Mentally and emotionally, it was a lot to go through, and I kept most of it bottled up. I did use photography as an outlet for my emotional state, which I'm grateful for. It inspired my most personal photo series, which I wrote about here.

I am thankful for my husband, I am thankful for my infertility doctors, and I am thankful I live in a time where science is helping me have children of my own. As the wise Jesse Pinkman (from my favorite show ever, Breaking Bad) would say:

bits of home // february and march

1// I love the way the sun comes through the backyard in the late afternoons. The string lights turn into a bunch of lit orbs, and you know I can't resist a good lens flare.

2// Just a few things on my reading list, although I've read most of them by now. Just The Tips is a hilarious collection of tips/advice/confessions from the letters column of Sex Criminals, which happens to be an amazing comic that you should start reading immediately. Men Explain Things to Me is one of the best essays I've ever read, and should be a must-read for anyone who calls themselves a feminist (men included).

3// The resident cat doing cat things, like catching those rays of light.

4// I love my new outdoor mat so much. You have been warned. Sidenote: I've never understood how some people can keep their shoes on while lounging around at home. It feels so odd and unnatural to me. Once I'm home, it's shoes off and comfy sweatpants on. Socks are optional.

And! The mister and I just got some great news! His job is going to keep us in San Diego for three more years! Hurray! It's pretty much exactly what we wanted. Three more years of California wanderlusting, the best Mexican food, and all the great friends we've made here. We are so excited :)

our west coast wander // big sur and slo

Part two of a photographers' road trip continues! Our short time in Yosemite was rad and filled with new experiences, but by the time we were packing up the rental car on our last day, we were definitely ready to get back to civilization, see the ocean, and sleep in a room that didn't have canvas flaps for doors (or rogue squirrels looking to jack our stuff).

We drove down the famed Highway 1 through Big Sur, and stopped at lookout points along the way to take in views like this one. Sometimes I forget that I live in a state that has such pretty coastlines, so this photo is a good reminder. Even if the apocalypse happens one day and California breaks off and sinks into the ocean, at least it'll look damn good doing it. It'll be very rich-men-refusing-to-wear-life-jackets-on-the-sinking-Titanic of us.

Here's a photo of the Bixby Creek Bridge that I took not too far away from the first photo. We were trying to find interesting angles/locations to shoot the bridge from, but that harsh midday light made it kind of hard. This is the best I could come up with. 

We also made a quickie stop at the Nepenthe Restaurant , where I instagrammed Adrienne and Kristina as the unofficial phone booth babes of Big Sur. I blogged about this awesome little spot a few years ago when the mister and I were doing our up-the-coast trip, so you can see lots more photos of Nepenthe and Big sur right here!

And then we arrived at one of my favorite places on the planet, The Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo! Every room is themed and fantastically decorated, everything else at the hotel is pink, and you just can't NOT be in a good mood while staying here. This was my second time staying there, and you can read about my first time right here (you must, MUST check out the work of beauty that is the steakhouse dining room).

Going from camp lodgings to this place felt absolutely decadent. We grabbed dinner and drinks at the Silver Bar inside the hotel, and we discovered that we happened to be there on the night where a bunch of 20 and 30-somethings held their weekly swing dancing. Talk about great people-watching. Kristina (after telling us she knows how to swing dance) even got invited to dance by a very eager young man, and it was so fun to watch.

But did we call it a night? Oh no, my friend. Not in the least. When you put three photographers in the San Francisco room with lighting equipment and color matching clothes, it's a good bet they'll stay up until 2:30 in the morning taking portraits and taking advantage of every single space in the room. Which of course we did. I took the above shot of Kristina while she was working on her self-portrait. I also worked on my week 38 photo with Kristina's help. She let me borrow that awesome red dress as well as her LED light panel to help light the scene.

This was taken the next morning before we had to check out. That red wall is just too good.

The rest of the day was spent wandering around the downtown area of SLO and making little pit stops, like this one in their famous Bubblegum Alley! A germaphobe's nightmare, a photographer's delight. It is equal parts disgusting and fascinating. Literally thousands of pieces of gum lovingly placed by locals and tourists alike. The more creative folks would even spell out entire words or sentences using gum. That's like, ten packs of Orbitz at least. It's really something to look at.

I can't help but share this photo that Adrienne took of me, because it is too comical/perfect that my shirt kind of blends in with that crazy wall. And if you're looking at this and are immediately reminded of this scene from Garden State, I like you and we should be friends.

What kind of person would I be without contributing my own saliva-ridden germ packet to the wall? Some things you just have to do.

We also visited the Mission San Luis Obispo de Tolosa, and took more photos, and wanted to eat those delicious smelling grapes. 

One of Kristina's many talents is knowing where all the good tapas joints are, and this day was no exception. She led us to a cute little place called Luna Red, where we tapas'd and sangria'd like three grown women should. It was so good, and a great way to end our little six day road trip.

Let's do it again :)

our west coast wander // yosemite

 I'm horrible at blogging consistently, I know. But I figured I was way overdue with sharing my photos and thoughts from my impromptu trip to Yosemite National Park last September.

This trip was totally unplanned on my part. I was invited by my good photografriend Kristina, who was also going with the uber-talented Adrienne Pitts. They were both planning on going to Phoot camp in a few weeks (an annual photography retreat), but first wanted to head up north for some mountains, fresh air, and of course, lots of photo-taking. They wanted to hit up Yosemite first for maybe three nights, then make their way down through Big Sur and possibly stay a night in San Luis Obispo before heading back to San Diego.

They couldn't have invited me at a better time. Even though it was September, the end-of-summer heat and humidity was in full force, making me generally miserable; I was recovering from accidentally breaking my big toe the previous month, but I was starting to walk mostly normal; And I had just had another failed infertility treatment cycle, so I was pretty much "FUCK EVERYTHING." I needed a distraction, and getting the eff outta dodge sounded delightful and just what I needed. Plus, as a photographer, it's really hard to say no to a road trip.

Yosemite is really beautiful, period. The trees are big, and the mountains are big, which in turn make you feel really small and insignificant, but in a good way. The air feels good in your lungs and the sunlight seems magical. We swam in shallow rivers, and I saw more deer than I've ever seen in one place. We met friendly camp neighbors who let us borrow their portable gas grill and warned us when the squirrels were trying to get inside our open bear-proof locker. We played Cards Against Humanity with other camp neighbors and got yelled at by a camp ranger when we accidentally left a bottle of Jameson out. We took hundreds of photos and consumed large quantities of Tapatío (thanks Kristina!).

You can't put three photographers together without eventually seeing them geek out and chase that coveted "golden hour" light. Which we did. A lot.

That photo on the right (above) was taken in this really cool rock pile area near Mirror Lake (which was, sadly, completely dried up). I was still doing my 52 weeks project at the time, so I was inspired to take my week 37 photo here.

I love these portraits I took of Kristina and Adrienne. We were looking for patches of sunlight coming through the trees to get that halo/rim light effect, and BAM. Portrait heaven.

On one of our last days there, a giant forest fire broke out well far away from our camp. A fellow camper told us that if we drove up to Glacier Point, about an hour away, we'd be able to see views of not only Half Dome and El Capitan, but of the giant smoke cloud as well. It looked pretty insane.

And now for some obligatory instagrams from the trip! Above, a film camera party.

Just three ladies in a river. Don't mind us.

Instaxagrams!

This just reminds me again of how small we really are. Our petty gripes and bitching and moaning in our daily lives just seem so silly when you remember how big the world really is. It's beautiful and it's humbling.

Stay tuned for the Big Sur and San Luis Obispo part of our trip! :)

bits of life // november

1 // My 52 weeks project is still going on, and even though I'm a few weeks behind, I can't quite believe it's nearly over. Above is my week 41 photo. Once again, I seem to be forever drawn to merging skin with nature.

2 // Speaking of skin, I was so excited to have some of my recent photos included in the latest issue of Clear Nude Magazine. It's a fantastic quarterly magazine that celebrates the nude form in art, and it looks even more beautiful in print! My cat clearly approves.

 3 // Back in September I went on a little road trip with two other photographers to Yosemite National Park, and it was seriously just what I needed. Fresh air, nature, magical golden hour light, and so much photo-taking. I'll have to do a separate blog post soon on just the portraits alone, and how geeking out with fellow photo nerds makes my heart so happy.

4 // I also went to the east coast recently for some family bonding time, and of course all the fall foliage and foggy mountain mornings were just begging to be photographed. As much as I love living in southern California, I really do miss the more moody weather sometimes (cause it's 90 degrees today in San Diego, and I have so many mixed feelings about that).

:)