First things first: To every book, person, online article, and pregnancy app that told me that the second trimester would bring some relief in symptoms, I only have this to say to you...
That is all. Moving on...
Emotionally, I've been all over the place these past few weeks. Bouts of spontaneous weeping (my record so far: four times in one day) mixed with giddy excitement mixed with feeling completely overwhelmed at the thought of having twins-holy-hell-how-am-I-going-to-do-this-I-can't-even-pick-out-a-paint-color-for-the-nursery.
I know it's all completely normal and expected to be feeling this way, but it really is something else to experience it firsthand. I read this fantastic illustrated essay by Rebecca Roher on Mother's Day, and it really hit home how strange and beautiful and transformative pregnancy is, and I found myself weeping again. Even though I'm not yet halfway through my own pregnancy, I can relate to much of what she wrote, especially the part where she talks about how it's a process that can't really be controlled or stopped.
I think that's the part that feels the most alien to me lately. All these physical changes and symptoms that are happening to my body, and I'm simply along for the ride. There's nothing I can really do until these babies are born. Sure, I can pop a Zantac every morning to manage my acid reflux, and drink my weight in ginger tea to soothe my nausea, but these babies are going to keep growing, and there's going to be more unpleasant side effects for the next five months. AND I CAN'T STOP IT.
On the flip side, I'm never been so happy to be so physically uncomfortable. My body is doing something it's never done before, and I'm amazed every day that it keeps on doing it, making a temporary home for two tiny humans. So while I'm suffering these damn round ligament pains and forgetting simple tasks like closing the garage door, my body not only grew two placentas from scratch, but knows just the right amount of oxygen and nutrients that my babies need. Biology is a beautiful thing.
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