A sampling of new-mom-of-twins thoughts

// Did I already feed the cat this morning? I can't remember, but I'm pretty sure I did.

// Should I put a different onesie on her? It's just a little bit of spit up, I think it's okay.

// Jesus, I really need a bang trim.

// And this is why I need to bring an extra shirt for me when I go out in public: because I now have Vincent's poop all over my white t-shirt.

// Why do some people think boy/girl twins can be identical?? One has a penis, and the other has a vagina, for chrissakes.

// Vincent just laughed in his sleep, and it is the best thing ever.

// How can I be exhausted yet wide awake at the same time?

// I can't believe I made these two humans, I love them so much!

// (while feeding Vincent) Hazel's still sleeping, thank god. I don't have to-- Shit, she just woke up. And crying.

// I'm so happy I can drink cocktails again.

// Six uninterrupted hours of sleep would be heaven right now.

// I have the best husband ever. I could never do this on my own.

// She smiled at me! I made her smile!

// Will I ever be cool again?

// I'm still wearing my maternity jeans, and that's okay.

// Oops, almost forgot to take my birth control pill today. Cause the last thing I need is another baby.

// Why the hell did I decide to do the pill? I can barely remember what day of the week it is. I should switch to Depo or something.

// Fuck it, I'll trim my own bangs.

// What do parents of singletons do with all that free time?

// I love my babies, I love my babies.