our west coast wander // big sur and slo

Part two of a photographers' road trip continues! Our short time in Yosemite was rad and filled with new experiences, but by the time we were packing up the rental car on our last day, we were definitely ready to get back to civilization, see the ocean, and sleep in a room that didn't have canvas flaps for doors (or rogue squirrels looking to jack our stuff).

We drove down the famed Highway 1 through Big Sur, and stopped at lookout points along the way to take in views like this one. Sometimes I forget that I live in a state that has such pretty coastlines, so this photo is a good reminder. Even if the apocalypse happens one day and California breaks off and sinks into the ocean, at least it'll look damn good doing it. It'll be very rich-men-refusing-to-wear-life-jackets-on-the-sinking-Titanic of us.

Here's a photo of the Bixby Creek Bridge that I took not too far away from the first photo. We were trying to find interesting angles/locations to shoot the bridge from, but that harsh midday light made it kind of hard. This is the best I could come up with. 

We also made a quickie stop at the Nepenthe Restaurant , where I instagrammed Adrienne and Kristina as the unofficial phone booth babes of Big Sur. I blogged about this awesome little spot a few years ago when the mister and I were doing our up-the-coast trip, so you can see lots more photos of Nepenthe and Big sur right here!

And then we arrived at one of my favorite places on the planet, The Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo! Every room is themed and fantastically decorated, everything else at the hotel is pink, and you just can't NOT be in a good mood while staying here. This was my second time staying there, and you can read about my first time right here (you must, MUST check out the work of beauty that is the steakhouse dining room).

Going from camp lodgings to this place felt absolutely decadent. We grabbed dinner and drinks at the Silver Bar inside the hotel, and we discovered that we happened to be there on the night where a bunch of 20 and 30-somethings held their weekly swing dancing. Talk about great people-watching. Kristina (after telling us she knows how to swing dance) even got invited to dance by a very eager young man, and it was so fun to watch.

But did we call it a night? Oh no, my friend. Not in the least. When you put three photographers in the San Francisco room with lighting equipment and color matching clothes, it's a good bet they'll stay up until 2:30 in the morning taking portraits and taking advantage of every single space in the room. Which of course we did. I took the above shot of Kristina while she was working on her self-portrait. I also worked on my week 38 photo with Kristina's help. She let me borrow that awesome red dress as well as her LED light panel to help light the scene.

This was taken the next morning before we had to check out. That red wall is just too good.

The rest of the day was spent wandering around the downtown area of SLO and making little pit stops, like this one in their famous Bubblegum Alley! A germaphobe's nightmare, a photographer's delight. It is equal parts disgusting and fascinating. Literally thousands of pieces of gum lovingly placed by locals and tourists alike. The more creative folks would even spell out entire words or sentences using gum. That's like, ten packs of Orbitz at least. It's really something to look at.

I can't help but share this photo that Adrienne took of me, because it is too comical/perfect that my shirt kind of blends in with that crazy wall. And if you're looking at this and are immediately reminded of this scene from Garden State, I like you and we should be friends.

What kind of person would I be without contributing my own saliva-ridden germ packet to the wall? Some things you just have to do.

We also visited the Mission San Luis Obispo de Tolosa, and took more photos, and wanted to eat those delicious smelling grapes. 

One of Kristina's many talents is knowing where all the good tapas joints are, and this day was no exception. She led us to a cute little place called Luna Red, where we tapas'd and sangria'd like three grown women should. It was so good, and a great way to end our little six day road trip.

Let's do it again :)

our west coast wander // yosemite

 I'm horrible at blogging consistently, I know. But I figured I was way overdue with sharing my photos and thoughts from my impromptu trip to Yosemite National Park last September.

This trip was totally unplanned on my part. I was invited by my good photografriend Kristina, who was also going with the uber-talented Adrienne Pitts. They were both planning on going to Phoot camp in a few weeks (an annual photography retreat), but first wanted to head up north for some mountains, fresh air, and of course, lots of photo-taking. They wanted to hit up Yosemite first for maybe three nights, then make their way down through Big Sur and possibly stay a night in San Luis Obispo before heading back to San Diego.

They couldn't have invited me at a better time. Even though it was September, the end-of-summer heat and humidity was in full force, making me generally miserable; I was recovering from accidentally breaking my big toe the previous month, but I was starting to walk mostly normal; And I had just had another failed infertility treatment cycle, so I was pretty much "FUCK EVERYTHING." I needed a distraction, and getting the eff outta dodge sounded delightful and just what I needed. Plus, as a photographer, it's really hard to say no to a road trip.

Yosemite is really beautiful, period. The trees are big, and the mountains are big, which in turn make you feel really small and insignificant, but in a good way. The air feels good in your lungs and the sunlight seems magical. We swam in shallow rivers, and I saw more deer than I've ever seen in one place. We met friendly camp neighbors who let us borrow their portable gas grill and warned us when the squirrels were trying to get inside our open bear-proof locker. We played Cards Against Humanity with other camp neighbors and got yelled at by a camp ranger when we accidentally left a bottle of Jameson out. We took hundreds of photos and consumed large quantities of Tapatío (thanks Kristina!).

You can't put three photographers together without eventually seeing them geek out and chase that coveted "golden hour" light. Which we did. A lot.

That photo on the right (above) was taken in this really cool rock pile area near Mirror Lake (which was, sadly, completely dried up). I was still doing my 52 weeks project at the time, so I was inspired to take my week 37 photo here.

I love these portraits I took of Kristina and Adrienne. We were looking for patches of sunlight coming through the trees to get that halo/rim light effect, and BAM. Portrait heaven.

On one of our last days there, a giant forest fire broke out well far away from our camp. A fellow camper told us that if we drove up to Glacier Point, about an hour away, we'd be able to see views of not only Half Dome and El Capitan, but of the giant smoke cloud as well. It looked pretty insane.

And now for some obligatory instagrams from the trip! Above, a film camera party.

Just three ladies in a river. Don't mind us.

Instaxagrams!

This just reminds me again of how small we really are. Our petty gripes and bitching and moaning in our daily lives just seem so silly when you remember how big the world really is. It's beautiful and it's humbling.

Stay tuned for the Big Sur and San Luis Obispo part of our trip! :)

bits of life // november

1 // My 52 weeks project is still going on, and even though I'm a few weeks behind, I can't quite believe it's nearly over. Above is my week 41 photo. Once again, I seem to be forever drawn to merging skin with nature.

2 // Speaking of skin, I was so excited to have some of my recent photos included in the latest issue of Clear Nude Magazine. It's a fantastic quarterly magazine that celebrates the nude form in art, and it looks even more beautiful in print! My cat clearly approves.

 3 // Back in September I went on a little road trip with two other photographers to Yosemite National Park, and it was seriously just what I needed. Fresh air, nature, magical golden hour light, and so much photo-taking. I'll have to do a separate blog post soon on just the portraits alone, and how geeking out with fellow photo nerds makes my heart so happy.

4 // I also went to the east coast recently for some family bonding time, and of course all the fall foliage and foggy mountain mornings were just begging to be photographed. As much as I love living in southern California, I really do miss the more moody weather sometimes (cause it's 90 degrees today in San Diego, and I have so many mixed feelings about that).

:)

personal work // ego sum

ego sum hortus

Unlike my previous projects (my 365, 52 weeks, etc) where I consciously set out to do a series of photos, this one wasn't born that way. This post is a bit difficult to write about; I usually try to keep things light and inspirational here in relation to my photography, but I also want to be open and honest with my readers. Real talk, if you will.

ego sum in flore

Earlier this year, I started taking fertility drugs to help me get pregnant. This was after quite a while of trying the old fashioned way. Months of ovulation tracking and becoming an expert on my cycle. Charting absolutely everything. I hated to admit that I needed help with something that seemed to come so naturally, so easily, for everyone else around me. That in itself was a struggle for me.

ego sum a vase

The mister and I had previously been tested/checked out for any conditions that would explain infertility, but nothing was found. We are both, by all accounts, healthy and should be able to conceive....so why weren't we? The doctors calls it "unexplained infertility" which sounds even worse somehow. All it did was make me feel broken, faulty. 

ego sum viscus et cruor 

I have to admit, all of this was putting me into a mini depression. Outwardly, I appeared fine to my friends and family (at least I think so). I still went out and did things. But social media started to feel toxic to me. I checked facebook less and less to avoid seeing photos of babies and pregnancy announcements. I had no desire to blog either, or to read other blogs that I was following. I even temporarily deleted mine, but thankfully, blogger was able to restore it when I came to my senses. 

ego symbiosis

So I think making these photos was my way of dealing with all the emotions of simultaneously feeling like a failure and trying to stay positive and hopeful. I think I wanted to merge myself with bits of nature and living things, maybe as a way to feel connected to something bigger than myself. In making these images, I think I wanted to celebrate my body as still something worthwhile and beautiful and useful. Still alive and breathing.

ego mulier

It feels really good to write these words out, to share what's been weighing on me. I've been in a much better place now for the past few months. Project Make-A-Baby is still underway, but I'm blogging again, shooting more, and I have some photography collaborations coming up that I'm really excited about. I'm feeling like me again.

ego sum silvis

current inspirations

Heart to Mouth High from bart hess 

1// This creepy/fantastic rubbery take on love (as seen above)

2// This made me laugh.

3// The peculiar and surreal photography of Yung Cheng Lin.

4// I'm not usually a fan of Bon Iver, but their new song for Zach Braff's new film might change my mind.

5// These embroidered landscapes are beautiful.

taming my mammoth

Sometimes you read something so profound, and at exactly the right time, that you wonder if isn't fate. Such a thing happened to me today, when a friend on facebook shared this insightful post: Taming the Mammoth:Why You Should Stop Caring What Other People Think.

As I read it, my internal voice was shouting, "YES! THIS!" It's something I've been thinking a lot about and struggling with in relation to my photography. And talk about timing; just last night, I uploaded a new image to my flickr, something I've been experimenting with for months, but was too afraid to share publicly. It's a new side to my work that I feel is deeply personal, but my own mammoth was holding me back; telling me it was too risky, and what would my friends and family think?

You can see the full image here on flickr (above is the cropped version, as it's NSFW at the link), and I wrote quite a bit along with the image. I'm still nervous as all hell that I'm actually sharing this, and I know it's something I'll continue to struggle with.

But it's a step for me, and a big one, taking me out of my comfortable little bubble, and into new territory.

a photoshop gif just for funsies

I made this gif of my recent 52 weeks photo's editing process really quickly in Photoshop. Apologies for the weird cropping issues!

No skulls were harmed in the making of this image :)