day trip // desert wander

Reason #5857 I love living in California: drive two hours in any direction, and the landscape will look completely different and magical. Thanks to all the heavy rains this year, all kinds of wildflowers are in bloom in the desert for the first time in years, so a group of friends and I made plans to drive out and see it for ourselves. Lots of picture-taking, climbing rocks, trying not to get pricked by cacti, and general silliness. The perfect day.

Chunks of these cacti would be all over the ground, just waiting to stab our ankles. We dubbed them "death balls."

The weirdest/coolest trees ever!

We saw this from the road and immediately pulled over. We called it Pride Rock.

Dawn enjoys her Lion King moment.

Raina found this painted rock, and we decided to re-hide it.

Shortly after this photo was taken, Dawn came across a red snake on the move, and she proceeded to lose her shit, and ran away screaming.

Looking for cool rocks. Also, bird bones.

I love this group of women so much, and I'm glad we got to do this! It's funny; we were originally headed to the Anza-Borrego Desert State Park visitor/information center to start our hike/picture-taking, but all of these photos happened when we decided to pull over on a whim because we saw something cool from the road and wanted to check it out. Sometimes I think the best day trips happen that way. Bonus: no other tourists around to clutter up our shots! (Once we actually got to the visitors center, we saw tons of tourists all parked along the same stretch of road, taking their photos all in the same area. Amateurs.)

motherhood lately

My twin babes are nearly 18 months old, and I know I keep saying this at every new stage, but this is seriously the best age! They're full-on toddlers, even though I still call them my babies, and most likely will even when they have children of their own and I'm arthritic with a cane.

Every day, Hazel and Vincent are learning and discovering and taking joy in the tiniest things, and it's such a damn joy to watch. Vincent will bring me books to read to him, and he'll babble his thoughts with every turn of the page. He loves to stack his building blocks, and even claps when he's particularly proud of his technique. Hazel is the first to explore every last inch of her surroundings, including every blade of grass and all the sticks within reach. She reminds me that even in my humble backyard, there's so many different things to touch and discover.

They both love to watch Sesame Street, particularly Elmo and the Cookie Monster. They light up whenever we Facetime with my parents and in-laws. They want to be friends with the resident cat so bad, despite her obvious disdain of these tiny humans I brought into the house. They bop along in their highchairs to music that I play everyday during lunch time, and Hazel apparently is a Talking Heads fan. They'll happily eat kimchi and seaweed and fried rice, but if I had a nickel for every time Vincent willingly ate plain grilled chicken, I'd have like 15 cents (thanks Korean genes!).

I feel like so many internet articles claim that anyone who admits to enjoy parenting is a liar, or that if you're not completely miserable during the first year of your child's life, you're not human. Yes, YES, the first year was hard for me, particularly the first 4-6 months. I was in survival mode, and I dealt with post-partum depression, and just everything times two. But I feel it's just as important to share the joyous/holy-shit-my-kids-are-awesome stories, because it's honest and real. My babes never had any "sleep regressions." They sleep 12 hours a night. They love car rides and being in their stroller and just being anywhere new. They're generally happy babies, and I hate that I feel guilty admitting that, as if that's something "you don't do" in the mom community. I've been watching the new season of Girls on HBO, and there was a line from a recent episode where a woman was telling Hannah about what it was like having a kid, and she said, "Kids are easy. It's being an adult that's hard." And that was so refreshing to hear, even in just a fictional TV show.

My kids aren't even two years old yet, and I still feel like I'm supposed to wait for the ball to drop. For shit to get REAL AWFUL. "Terrible Two's" and "Threen-ager." Meanwhile, I'm just excited for when I can have a two-way conversation with my kids, and they can say the actual sentence, "Mama, I'm tired." Sure, they might morph into little assholes sometimes, but isn't that true of every stage of human life? I definitely remember calling my twins assholes in the early months of life, when they projectile-shat onto the walls and carpet of their nursery, or when, at 8 months old, they tossed perfectly good spaghetti onto the floor from their highchair without even trying it. They still have their asshole moments right now, like when Vincent has a tantrum because I won't turn on the vacuum cleaner (he's obsessed with watching me clean), or when I'm trying to change Hazel's diaper but she hates having her vagina clean for some reason (she does this jerky yoga bridge move, and I'm just like WHY? YOU WANT A CLEAN VAGINA OK JUST TRUST ME ON THIS).

I love being their mom. I love watching them grow. I hate that I cry at everything - commercials, Disney songs, Youtube clips. The other day, the babes were listening to a playlist of Disney songs on the Kindle, and when "You Got A Friend In Me" from Toy Story started playing, it reminded me that in the third Toy Story movie, the kid is grown up and about to leave for college, which reminded me that one day my kids are gonna leave the nest some day, and I proceeded to get weepy and hug my kids extra hard. Every time Vincent and Hazel hug me, I think, "SOAK. THIS. UP. ONE DAY THEY'LL BE EMBARRASSED TO HUG YOU."

So yeah. This is my life right now when it comes to my kids. I love them, and I constantly want to brag on them, and yes, I'm still tired, cause kids are tiring, but they're keeping me young, and active, and they make me see the world through fresh eyes. I feel so lucky to be their mom. And so I shall leave you with a recent video from earlier today. Just two silly kids doing their own thing in their backyard, which usually involves eating my plants and trying to touch things.

portrait session // sammy & brian's south park wander

I'm so excited to share these photos of some dear friends of mine! I met Sammy and Brian through mutual friends a few years ago, and their energy is always so positive and fun. They're the kind of people you want to stay late at the party so you can squeeze in as much time as possible with them, and if it's a costume-themed party, you can bet they'll win best-dressed. When these two got engaged recently, I eagerly offered to shoot their engagement photos, and a neighborhood stroll idea was born.

They wanted to incorporate some of their favorite South Park spots in their shoot, like Grant's, South Park Brewing Company, Bad Madge, and Whistlestop, and I was more than happy to follow along and document along the way. I'll share my favorites below!

I'm so happy for these two :)

I have this thing with graphic tees

 Lately, I've been having this love affair with shirts with words on them. And for an introvert who avoids talking to strangers in public at all costs but still wants to express herself in witty ways, graphic tees are the perfect solution. Here's a few of my favorites!

From the fine folks over at Stay Home Club. I am their Vice President, and we have bi-monthly meetings at.....hahahhaaa, we don't ever meet up, silly.

I love this one by Little Adi + Co. Because that's the great thing about having twins: instant tribe!

Another one from Stay Home Club, because I'm their VP, remember? I like to wear this one on days I feel particularly down and mopey. Also, cats.

Caffeine and Leslie Knope are more of my spirit animals these days, and whiskey less so, but still. A fun shirt to wear. I wore this recently to a kid's birthday party, and got approving nods from a few of the dads there. Or they just knew I have twins and thought, "Yeah I'd drink whiskey if I had twins too." Disclaimer: I do not drink whiskey because I have twins. I drink whiskey because it's delicious. Shirt is by Look Human.

Dear Sleeping In, I took you for granted in my 20's and early 30's. I never realized how sacred you were, and that you wouldn't last forever. I'm sorry for that. Now it's a luxury if I get to sleep in til 8 while my husband feeds the kids in the mornings on the weekends. But that's okay. This is the Era of Having Kids now. I'll pour out a bit of my 40 later on tonight in memory of you. Shirt is by Pebby Forevee.

personal & family goals for 2017

There's nothing like just getting over a nasty stomach flu to make you feel refreshed and ready to take on the new year, so I wanted to write down these thoughts and goals while they're still fresh in my head. When I wrote down my goals and intentions last year, I ended up doing nearly everything on my list (yay!), so I hope I can keep it going this year as well.

1// Live more minimally. That can mean a lot of different things, but for me, it means to buy less, use less, and the things I DO buy, buy with more intention. I've already kind of started the process in the past few months. Now that California has banned plastic bags from stores, I've started bringing my own re-usable shopping bags, and it feels good not to come home with 34343 plastic bags. Honestly, I should've started doing this ages ago. I'm also trying to be conscious of how much/what kind of toys I buy for my twins. They really don't need hordes of blinking, battery-powered toys to be happy, and there's lots of items already around the house that they can easily entertain themselves with. I also want to regularly go through their clothes and toys and purge the things they've outgrown.

2// Take better care of my skin. In general, I've been pretty lucky in the genes department when it comes to my skin (thanks Mom and Dad!). But as I'm getting older, I want to be more conscious of what products I'm putting on my skin, and take more proactive steps on keeping it healthier. A few months ago when my mother-in-law was visiting, she treated me to a belated birthday outing, and we went to a local spa where I got a facial and chemical peel for the first time. It was WONDERFUL, and I truly noticed a difference in the smoothness and glowy-ness of my face over the next month. My esthetician from that day also gave a few free samples of some products from Le Mieux, which I started using regularly. But I also know what I eat and drink has a huge impact on the health of my skin, so I want to work on that this year. More water, less caffeine (ughh, that's gonna be a hard one). More fruits and veggies when I crave snacks, less processed stuff.

3//  Mix up my workouts a bit. I've been going to barre classes for close to a year now, and while I love it, and have no plans on stopping, I really want to try some other classes in between, preferably dance-related. I've recently learned about Culture Shock Dance Center here in San Diego, and they have so many great classes that I'd love to try, from burlesque to hip hop.

4// Spend better quality time and communicate better with my husband. Sure, we manage to get out for a date night every now and then, but when we're both at home, especially on the weekends, we tend to snap at each other out of tiredness and stress. Which bums us both out, and makes us feel like shitty partners. We're usually quick to apologize to each other, but when it happens several times a week, something's gotta change. I know I personally need to work on holding my tongue when he's trying to explain something (I tend to interrupt him a lot), and just be more patient with him and cut him more slack.

5// Keep shooting. Film, digital, my twins, my friends, new places, familiar places. I realized the other day that I hardly used my film cameras at all last year, and I need to remedy that. I barely touched my Instax camera last year too, which is ridiculous, since it's so small and lightweight. And as always, I'd love to keep making more personal art for myself.

*Both photos are from a recent outing to Native Poppy